That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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