im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
