no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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