I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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