I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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