he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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