also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
