i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
This girl is more easily done than said...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he thought i was a dude.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
