when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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