I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
