People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
