I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
