dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Randomize
