I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
