You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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