I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
