I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
