U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
