It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
