The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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