It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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