miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
