ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
