Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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