Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
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Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize