Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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