I wanna bring you to show and tell
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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