Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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