Me too!
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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