I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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