I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
