Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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