You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
