Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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