what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
