he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
