i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
