Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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