It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
