I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Randomize
