East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
