he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
