Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
