I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
