I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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