i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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