So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
