I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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