He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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