so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
