i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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