this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
